Perspective Can Gift Us
At the ripe old age of twelve years old, my grandfather offered to let me drive the farm truck along the five miles of hi-way between town and the farm. He taught many of his grandkids how to drive the green farm truck years before we were legally allowed behind the wheel. As we pulled up the farmhouse, I will never forget the searing eyes through the kitchen window; needless to say, it was a few years before I was behind the wheel of his truck again. Twenty-five years later, I was back on the farm to celebrate his 90th birthday and was tasked with the job (at the request of a few of his kids) of being a passenger in the car and take note of whether or not I thought he should still be driving. To my knowledge, he continued to drive until he moved off the farm a few years later.
this is 45
I bring this up because in general, our society struggles with the thought of aging. Consider the number of products on the shelves in stores that are marketed as “anti-aging,” how many of us talk about the achey joints we contend with, or how the body begins to morph in a direction we do not want (hair color, skin texture, unexpected weight gain). As someone who has been working in the health and wellness industry for nearly twenty-five years, I have seen and heard many of the struggles that clients, friends and family have endured with their own aging process. It is not lost on me that when my birthday rolls around, there is contemplation about my own existence, and this year was no different. A few things that ran through my mind included thinking about how fortunate I am to have strong relationships with people from my past and how I am cultivating new ones that have emerged over the last couple of years, catching a glimpse of achey joints when I sit for too long, and the joy of knowing I have seen another day.
Just imagine, a change in perspective can help you live longer.
Earlier this week, a client mentioned an article she had seen in the New York Times science section about how those with a positive outlook on aging are shown to live longer than those with a negative attitude toward aging. This caught my attention so I found the article titled How to Change Your Mindset About Aging to read for myself. The article cited a study published twenty years ago saying “that those with positive beliefs around getting older lived seven and a half years longer than those who felt negatively about it.” Some may say changing perspective is easier said than done. Below are some tips that may help:
Deeply ingrained beliefs and biases exist. Take notice of where they come from. If you think they do not exist, consider taking the Harvard Implicit Bias test and look for the test on aging.
Make friends with people who are aging well. I was once told, “One way you get to know the world is to make friends with people who are 20 years older than you.” And I have done just that; we go for walks, have coffee dates or attend events such as the theater or concerts together. There is so much to learn from one another and it helps to make my life feel more enriched.
Understand the difference between toxic positivity and optimism. Optimism is rooted in reality and allows for one to acknowledge and express both positive and negative emotions. Toxic positivity is a stubborn belief that one should always be positive no matter the circumstances.
Create a plan to better your health. This might include increased physical activity/exercise, change in dietary habits, or build a strong social network.
This morning while I was attending a meeting, a quote was read from the book Courage to Change: “With a change of attitude…past actions can be put into proper perspective; love and respect can become part of family life.” I sent this quote to a friend of mine and her response was beautiful-
